Well, it was bound to happen, and today was the day. I hit my first real low point. Everything hit me like a ton of bricks today, and I am not going to lie...it was tough - one of the toughest days of my life. I think it was a combination of a very long day(first appointment at 7:30 am and last appointment ended at 5pm with not much down time in between), lack of sleep, and the reality of it all truly setting in.
I had a bone scan this morning to further investigate my spine to see if the cancer has spread there. It was terrifying as I lay on the hard table and glanced over on the screen to see an area of my spine light up - indicating increased radioactivity - which means that something abnormal is going on there. But I tried not to worry too much and waited until Dr. F (the oncologist) explained the findings later in the afternoon. We then spent a few hours at Karmanos this afternoon meeting with Dr. F for the first time. It was great to meet him, discuss all of the test results, get all of our questions answered, and establish a treatment plan. But let me be honest and say, it was incredibly overwhelming, scary, and surreal. There are still some random moments throughout the day where I forget I have cancer for a minute - but today was a huge slap in the face and reality set in.
We met with Dr. F for a few hours so I will try to summarize the latest and greatest news of this roller coaster ride that our lives have become....
Thankfully, we continue to have the most amazing support system ever! Coming home to a porch full of groceries from a co-worker, food in my fridge from Julie, and the most incredible and thoughtful care package from Brinley, all helped me get out of my funk and smile again. Mike & I have become completely overwhelmed (in a good way!) by all of the wonderful cards, gifts, flowers and food that people have sent our way. I have realized that it is no longer possible for me to include every personal thank you on the blog because each post would go on forever. :) Please know that we sincerely appreciate every single nice word and gesture that is sent our way and it means more to us than you will ever know! I honestly don't know how I could get through this without all of your support. You all think that I am so strong - but really that strength comes from all of you lifting us up through your encouraging words, thoughts, and prayers. For all of these things, I am eternally grateful.
ps. Thank you for all of the photography love! Over the last two years, it has become a true passion of mine and I can't get enough of it :) A few days before I was diagnosed with cancer, I was accepted for an internship with an amazing professional photographer, Jennifer Grant. I was so excited to begin this journey and get the chance to soak up all the knowledge I could from Jennifer. Unfortunately, I have had to withdraw from this opportunity so that I can devote all of my time and attention to beating this cancer! For those of you that asked to see more of my photography, please check it out at Meg Malley Photography.
This journal & I have become attached at the hip. It contains all of my questions & concerns, appointments, and all that other good stuff that I would never be able to remember otherwise. It's like my own version of American Express..."can't leave home without it".
The most thoughtful, handmade bracelet and pocket angel charms with my name engraved on them. Thank you so much to my wonderful friend Katie and her mom, Barb. I will treasure these always.
My blog to keep you all