Last month was quite the special one. I was blessed to celebrate another birthday, received stable scan results, and reached a milestone I wasn't sure I would ever see. Ten years since my Stage IV cancer diagnosis! An entire decade living with this disease! I always assumed that day would bring a flood of emotions; a flurry of thoughts about what this last decade living with disease has been like. But in all honesty, it simply didn’t. I woke up and started my day like any other. Texted Mike good morning since he is out the door so early, snuggled with Gracie, got in a workout and savored my morning coffee as I got ready for work. Had a usual busy day in the clinic, got home to walk Gracie, then raced out to celebrate my wonderful step dads birthday with the family. It felt like a typical, normal day. I had every intention of composing a blog post that night as a way to process my emotions, since it has always been a cathartic experience for me. But those emotions I was expecting never came the way I figured they would. I didn't force myself to write or share any thoughts marking this occasion. I didn't want to force it just because it was a special anniversary. Over the last several weeks, I have taken more time to reflect and that's when it really hit home for me. That "typical, normal day" was the celebration - that right there was IT. That was the destination I was cautiously hopeful I could reach. The place where I was able to go about a normal day with cancer being in the recesses of my mind, instead of the forefront. Where pain, worry, fatigue, sadness or fear took a back seat to happiness, laughter, gratitude and the small every day moments that bring me joy. Where even the major milestones would simply feel like another beautiful spring day...okay, maybe a spring day with some champagne! I couldn’t imagine this place ten years ago. Turns out it didn’t take me a decade to get here. I am grateful I have found my way here more often than not, even on days where it has taken a whole lot of effort. But, I’ve also lost my way plenty of times too, where the road has dipped and spiraled. Where the tough stuff wins the day. Where this disease gets the best of me or I lose sight of the things I swore I would never take for granted. But ultimately, I am proud to say that I have tried to live life to the fullest. I have tried to take heartbreak and grief and turn it into healing and gratitude. I have tried to support others along this journey, knowing how isolating and scary it can be. And I have tried to stay rooted in the knowledge that this is my one precious life and I want to make the most of it. I can't say enough 'thank you's' to truly give thanks to each and every person who has supported Mike and I over these last ten years after the devastating blow of this diagnosis. Without the love and support of our family and friends, I don't know how we would have made it this far. We feel so blessed and truly so grateful. Here's to another 10!....and many, many more! xoxo, Meg A special thank you to one of my besties, Kyle, for spoiling me with roses, balloons, cake and bubbly to celebrate this special day! Oh, and did you see Mike's incredibly special post on Facebook? Yes, that's right folks...Mike posted for the first time on social media! Please read his beautiful and heartfelt message. Truly something I will treasure for a lifetime. 10 years and the things I have learned........Hello everyone, I don’t share much (or anything really) on social media but I really feel the need to get this “out there”. Tomorrow Meghan Malley gets scan results and it has really caused me to do a lot of reflecting lately. We are coming up on the 10 year anniversary of her diagnosis with stage 4 breast cancer. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that it has been that long. I can remember like it was yesterday when she called me at work during lunch and told me the news. That was certainly a life changing day in so many ways. I am very proud of my career as a teacher and coach but I can assure you over the past 10 years I have been the one doing the learning- from Meghan. The way she has dealt with her medical situation and all comes with it is truly remarkable. I wanted to share some things I have learned from her along the way. 1. I have learned that you can face any situation you are confronted with and choose how to react to it. I don’t really believe “everything happens for a reason”, but Meghan has taught me that even when something happens to alter what you thought life will be you can choose to still create a beautiful life. I have learned that a husband and wife and their dogs can be every bit as much of a family as any other type of family that is out there. Thank you Meghan for teaching me that . 2. I have learned that you can take a difficult circumstance and help others in similar situations to an amazing degree. I have learned that if you feel underrepresented by major organizations than you can impact change within them- I have seen Meghan do this. I have learned you can share your story with others and provide hope to them. I have learned you can take phone calls from newly diagnosed strangers and give of your time and energy and love. I have lalearned that if there isn’t a support group for young people living with cancer, then you start one. I can’t imagine how many people have benefitted from this. 3. I have learned that you can prioritize your own physical and mental health and that this investment of your time and energy will greatly improve your quality of life, especially when you are facing major health treatments. I am so proud of Meghan for taking such good care of herself both mentally and physically. 4. I have learned that you can empathize with others on a different level when you face these challenges. There is no doubt in my mind that Meghan is able to relate to her patients who are facing catastrophic injuries and illness in a way that most people simply can’t conceive of. I am in awe of how well Meghan does her very important job given that her energy levels and pain levels are so often impacted by her illness and treatments. 6. I have learned to never put off things you really want to do. Meghan has helped me to see the value of “going for it”- take the trip, go to the event, call your friend you are thinking of. It is kind of a cliche but I truly have learned to do this from living with Meghan these past 10 years. 7. I have learned the tough times are ok. It is important to allow yourself to feel sadness and to grieve losses. Meghan has done an amazing job of staying so positive throughout all of this without ignoring or failing to deal with the realities. 8. I have learned you can keep a sense of humor in the face of adversity. Meghan can always make her doctors laugh and keep perspective when meeting with them. She also will make “dark” jokes about her illness that probably only she and I would find funny, but it really helps sometimes. 9. I have learned that it is important not to let statistics define you. Whatever the “odds” are given your circumstances those odds themselves are NOT your circumstances. Meghan has taught me you can crush those odds and she is going to keep doing that. 10. I have learned to never lose sight of “the invisible battle”. The people we all deal with every day are going through things you have no idea about. Extend grace to people as much as possible. We had a friend over for dinner the other night who remarked that it really was amazing to see Meghan and how she lives and that “ you would never know”...that really made me think. Extend grace and patience to people as much as possible. Maybe your PT that is working with you just had to race into work after a long meeting with her oncologist.... maybe your teacher was up all night with his wife who was experiencing horrible pain.... I wanted to put this out there for a couple reasons. The biggest one is to celebrate something that is so worth celebrating during what has been such a tough year for so many people in so many different ways. Another major reason is that I hope someone out there will come across this at “the right time”. I can tell you that 10 years ago Meghan and I were desperate to find stories or examples of people doing well for this long with this diagnosis. I have learned so much in 10 years, but above all I have learned that life can be beautiful through alll the ups and downs. Thank you Meghan for teaching me... Birthday getaway to Lake Michigan with this handsome husband of mine. Grateful to have Dr. F by my side for these last 10 years!
8 Comments
Elizabeth
4/29/2021 09:09:50 pm
Love this post so much!!! To have normalcy and gratitude in the face of all you have been through is truly the best thing. You have educated me so much and inspired me daily. I can’t even fathom how many people you have helped. Love you friend.
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Jenny Flanagan
4/29/2021 09:27:35 pm
Meghan, I already posted on your social media but I could not read this blog and forget to say thank you for your transparency, your willingness to not only share your journey with us so we understand what you have been through and have learned... but also like the person commented above to educate others. To inspire others. Your heart is so big. Your spirit is so bright and uplifting. I am so happy to know you and what you and your husband have written about the last ten years have truly impacted me, my thinking, my goals. I don’t just want to be me-minded anymore and get through this for myself and my family but for others and to help others. God bless you, and I am about to shout it out I LOVE MEGHAN MALLEY yall! She is my She-ro!!!! To many more decades and making so many more beautiful memories. To you and yours! 💕 Jenny
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Chelki
4/29/2021 09:30:21 pm
Love you Meg. You are such an inspiration and I am so blessed to call you one of my besties.
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Kelley
4/30/2021 12:11:16 am
What a decade you’ve had! I’m so happy to see you living your best life despite a diagnosis that has made it so hard to do so. I’m thankful to have your rays of sunshine in my life and I love you oh so much. Cheers to 10 and so many many more 🍾
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Georjene K Vanderhoff
4/30/2021 05:27:25 am
Meghan & Mike,
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Nikki
4/30/2021 09:29:50 am
I am awed, grateful, and inspired. I’m 13 months into treatment for stage 3 TNBC and am seeing the light! My 8 cycle course of Xeloda for mop up ends 7/31. It’s about getting the MOST important parts of my life back. I can relate so much to your thoughts and feelings. Your husband’s reflections are incredibly beautiful and soothing. I am graced with an amazing partner as well.
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Sara
4/30/2021 01:25:53 pm
Once again, I teared up reading this and hearing the authenticity in your words. CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR FRIEND! EFF YEA! To me, it's no surprise you have persevered through such a trying time -- Cancer didn't know who it was dealing with and you continue to live your life with so much kindness, compassion and gusto. I'm so proud to call you a friend and am so happy you get to celebrate this milestone in the most ordinary of ways. LOVE YOU! Here's to tens and tens and tens of thousands more of the ordinary days! XO
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Kara Carravallah
5/1/2021 01:41:19 pm
I love this and you. You are an incredible human and I’m so lucky to call you my friend. Cheers to 10 more years girl! ❤️🥂
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