Well, I got the boot today...got kicked out...told to hit the road...adios amiga...catch ya later! In all seriousness though, I did get sent home from chemo today because my counts were too low. I am super bummed out, and somewhat surprised. I know it might sound crazy, and most people would love to get out of chemo for the day - but when you are in the midst of this, all you want to do is blaze through it as quickly as possible. Now we are delayed and everything gets pushed back another week. I know it's not a huge deal in the scheme of things, but of course being the planner that I am, we already had a family vacation planned for the first week of September and my date for surgery was somewhat set. Now, all of those dates are out the window because I will no longer be done with chemo on September 1 as originally thought. After checking my weight (which was up - yay!) and my vital signs, my nurse, Denise accessed my port to draw my blood. Mike and I waited awhile to hear the results but I never thought they would be too low to get chemo. Denise finally came back and said that my counts dropped significantly since last week and that she would be very surprised if Dr. F allowed me to get chemo today. Sure enough, Dr. F said "no way, Jose" and we were sent packing. I didn't actually get to see Dr. F this time, but Denise explained that this may still be residual effects of the first set of drugs I was on, since those are so tough and usually drop your counts much more than the Taxol that I had last week. My white blood cells, specifically my neutrophils, are severely low. White blood cells (WBC's) are part of our immune system and are the ones that we need to help fight infection. There are five different types of WBC's, one of which is called neutrophils. Neutrophils make up approximately 45-70% of all WBC's. The normal range of WBC's is 4,300-10,600 cells per microliter of blood and the normal value for neutrophils is 1,580-7,130, with neutropenia (low neutrophil count) being classified as anything lower than 1,700 and severe neutropenia being anything lower than 500. Well, today my WBC count measured at 1,800 and my neutrophil count is only 300! So, this means I am at an extreme risk of infection because my infection fighting cells are significantly diminished. On top of that, my hemoglobin (part of the red blood cells that carry oxygen) has dropped again. The normal value for hemoglobin should be between 11.5-15.1, and mine measured at 9.0 today. Low hemoglobin can cause symptoms such as fatigue, headache, dizziness, lack of concentration, and shortness of breath. So, what does this all mean? I have to be EXTREMELY careful to avoid infection. We have to be very diligent about hand washing and keeping our house germ free. I am no longer allowed to be in crowds, around children, or near anyone that may be sick. If I have to go out in public, I have been instructed to wear a mask over my nose and mouth to avoid any possible risk of infection. I knew I wasn't feeling the best earlier this week, and even told Mike that I thought I might have over done it by going to Nashville, but I never thought my counts would be so low. All I can do now is to rest, hydrate, stay infection free, and pray for elevated counts when I go back to chemo next Thursday. I am a bit frustrated and disappointed, but more than that, I am a little sad that this has once again served up a dose of reality and it makes me nervous. I sometimes feel invincible - that I can handle anything - that even chemo can't knock me down too hard or for too long. Today was a reminder that even if I am feeling mentally tough, physically my body is still fighting so hard and no matter how much I try, there are certain things I don't have control over - such as my blood work. I never would have guessed that my counts would be so low today and it just scares me because right now, I need chemo! Although it is the chemo that is making me so sick, I still firmly believe I need it to save my life. I just pray that I am able to get back on track soon. So, it looks like I will have to cancel all of my plans for the next week- which is such a bummer especially because my wonderful cousin, Becca and her husband and two sweet kiddo's were coming for a visit from Denver. I am hopeful that my body will be in fighting shape by next Thursday and I can resume my treatment plan then. Thanks again for your continued love, support and prayers! Since I am going to be trapped at home for the next week, does anyone have any good jokes? Movie recommendations? Books? Say an extra prayer for Mike that I don't drive him insane this next week- haha! :) xoxo, Meghan Looks like these will be the only faces I get to see for awhile....good thing they are both so darn cute :)
28 Comments
Kara
6/23/2011 01:01:16 pm
Meg,
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Brinley
6/23/2011 01:30:16 pm
My Sheppard Pie.....this must be SO frustrating!! I'm so frustrated and frankly, pissed, for you! But, like every other little bump in the road, you'll make it over this without any problems! Keep your fighting spirit and know that we are all fighting with you!! You'll make it through this & your trip will be here before you know it! We love you SO much Meg!!!
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Kiki
6/23/2011 04:39:46 pm
Bummer Meg! :( I definitely know that you are a planner and understand how frustrating this is for you, but hopefully, like Brinley said, this is just a small bump in the road and next week your blood levels will be back up. Rest up this week girl, there is some Chemo that has your name on it next week! Love you! xo
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Diane Daley
6/23/2011 05:36:12 pm
Well, lots of peaks and valleys in this journey! I was so sorry to hear about Mike's aunt and uncle.
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Sara
6/24/2011 06:49:01 am
Good ol' Paula said it best: "Two steps forward, two steps back...", I'm so sorry to hear about this latest set-back Meg. I'm glad that they're taking extra precautions but poo on the change of plans!! I have a TON of good books recommendations starting with "Unbroken" by Laura Hillenbrand. It's a heavy book but he's an inspiring person...just like YOU! I have lots of good beach read recos too and am about to start the Tina Fey book...that I'm sure is bound to be a good laugh or 20! Also, if you haven't gotten into Brothers & Sisters, can you start watching on Netflix? Or the Good Wife? Both great shows to watch :) Here's to scrap-booking, reading, TV'ing, online shopping, and anything else your wonderful home has in store for you the next week! I hope you can rest up and I have no doubt that next week your counts will be up and you'll be ready to continue with the kicking of cancer's booty! Thinking of you lots! xoxo
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Elizabeth
6/24/2011 07:31:56 am
Hey Meg,
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Aunt Carol
6/24/2011 07:51:43 am
Since when have you ever done anything just half way??
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Joe L. and Julie N.
6/24/2011 09:36:48 am
We are so sorry to hear about this setback - but in the long run, it will just be a MINOR setback on your road to complete recovery. You will be back on track with chemo in no time - we know it! In the meantime, rest up! Perhaps watching any of the Real Housewives series will help pass the time (those shows always make me thankful that I am NOT one of them). Lots of prayers coming your way!
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Katie Sheridan
6/24/2011 11:05:15 am
Meghan,
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Gina V.
6/25/2011 11:48:42 am
What a tough week for you~ but go one day at time! All will be well! We all love you so much and are feeling everything that you are going through too! Smiles and prayers~
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Diane P
6/26/2011 12:38:51 pm
dearest Meg...
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Usha Ramaprakash
6/26/2011 01:52:31 pm
Hi Meghan,
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Elaine Mellesmoen
6/26/2011 03:49:12 pm
Megan,
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Hope you are on the up and up mrs. megs, so sorry to hear your counts we low WHAT A BUMMER!! J and I are praying for you! Thanks for my beautiful petoskey blog post! I haven't posted on here in a while so I just wanted to say thank you SO much, Justin and I are so so so amazed how phenomenal you did that weekend . . . thank you so much for coming and celebrating a very important weekend on our lives and most importantly I am so glad you and Mike had a fabulous couple weekends away . . . and sorry it's all catching up . . . God has funny ways of telling us we are getting ahead of ourselves.
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Colleen Anthony
6/26/2011 06:32:00 pm
I've just been catching up on your incredidbly courageous and honest journey. I was a 1969 graduate of WKHS, so it was wonderful to see that community rally around you. Many continued blessings, Colleen
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Kari Kuper
6/27/2011 05:39:19 am
Two things I have learned to be true are a) everything happends for a reason, and b) usually its never on our timeline! But, that's where we have faith and know it is all part of HIS plan - on HIS time :) I'm sorry to hear you have to cancel fun plans, I know thats frustrating. Rest up and hopefully next week you will be back on track!
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Emily Henry
6/27/2011 03:29:55 pm
Oh Meg, I'm so so sorry to hear the bad news. Hopefully you had a restful weekend and you're numbers will be back up this Thursday. I'll be thinking of you. Stay tough!
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Ang F
6/27/2011 04:50:57 pm
Book Recommendation. I just finished it and it was awesome. Its called 'I know this much is true', by Wally Lamb?? I think thats his name. 900 page book, worth every second spent on it. Might just be enough to keep you busy for a while. And I'll get you The Shack too. Could I sterilize it and drop it at your door??? ;) (but seriously, my house is ONE germy place :):)
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Aunt Carol
6/28/2011 02:47:46 am
Morning Meghan!!
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Carolyn & Mark Hallgath
6/28/2011 11:04:16 am
Hi Meghan,
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Mary Jane Hsu
6/28/2011 01:49:50 pm
Hey Meghan.
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Kathy Fraser
6/28/2011 02:53:53 pm
Having been there at least 2 or 3 times myself when I had my chemo I know how frustrating it is. It changes all the timelines and plans and makes it hard to be positive. I can tell you though that not listening what your immune system is telling you is worse... I've seen others have to be hospitalized or worse because they could not stay strong-- That's where being young is on our side!!! The worst part of this is that beside the neupogen or whatever WBC meds they can give you, there is nothing you can take or do to keep your counts up! I think fresh air, sun and good cheering companions is the best medicine... Adjusting out even 3 or 4 weeks is just a drop in the bucket of time..... Take Care.
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Julie Payne
6/29/2011 01:53:59 pm
Meg,
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Aunt Erin
6/29/2011 03:51:46 pm
Hey Sweet girl.
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Deb & Bob Hart
6/30/2011 01:37:20 am
Good luck this week. Hopefully all goes well. Just wanted to let you know we were thinking of you
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Niche
6/30/2011 02:49:55 am
Been praying that today goes great and you feel back on track. God's got a plan even when we wish we could control things. Love you tons!
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Janine
6/30/2011 03:30:53 pm
Meghan -
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cassy
2/29/2012 12:24:29 pm
Hey i was really inspired by ur story i am one of miss neffs students and she told me to read this it is so sad it made me cry but i know u can make it thru it i have hope fer u
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