Well, it looks like I am starting to return to the land of the living...(very) slowly but surely. I finally started to feel better this past Tuesday, and I couldn't be more grateful. It truly felt like it was never going to happen. Each day since then, I have started to feel a little bit better than the day before but it is amazing to me how drained and exhausted I feel even though I do nothing but lay around all day. It's the craziest thing and I have to try very hard not to let it frustrate me too much. I have never in my life spent this much time doing nothing, staying indoors, and actually staying in bed or on the couch all day. I can tell I am feeling better because I have started to feel very antsy and bored. Last Monday I wasn't able to go to see Dr. M as I had hoped because my drains were still collecting way too much fluid to have them removed. I was super bummed but hopeful they would be out in the next day or so. On Tuesday, I headed to Beaumont to see Dr. R, the physical medicine and rehabilitation doc. He checked out my range of motion, measured me to make sure I wasn't showing signs of lymphedema, and we discussed the possible reasons why I had been feeling so awful. Overall, he said things looked good but unfortunately, I couldn't really start doing much movement with my arms until the drains came out. This is yet another reason that I have been frustrated by these suckers because the longer they stay in = the longer I have to wait to start moving my arms = the tighter my pecs and shoulders become = the more difficult my recovery will be to regain full range of motion and strength. But, I have tried to be patient and respect my body's healing process. This has been a tough one for me as I have often joked with Mike that there is no way I could ever be a teacher like he is because patience has never been my strong suit. ;) Luckily, by Wednesday morning my left drain had really slowed down and I was able to get it removed. YAY! This means I can now lay on my left side without too much discomfort. I figured that the right one would at least be out by Friday, but unfortunately this bugger is still in and draining a lot! I can't believe I am going on 3 1/2 weeks since surgery and it's still in. I did receive my first fill of my tissue expanders on Wednesday in the hopes that it would slow down some of my drainage. Imagine having a balloon (but one that feels like an aluminum can) underneath your pec muscles and then having someone inject saline into it while you feel it expand within your chest. It's the oddest feeling - and not the most comfortable to be completely honest. I will continue to go in weekly for my fills for about 6 weeks until the tissue expanders are completely filled, at which point I will begin radiation. So, I am planning on heading back to the doctor tomorrow in the hopes of receiving another fill to slow down this drainage. The theory is that the fluid will continue to collect and drain as long as there is space to do so - if we fill that space by filling the expander, then the drainage will hopefully slow down. I also had to head over to Karmanos' Weisberg Center on Wednesday to get my monthly shot of Zoladex (the med that shuts my ovaries down and puts me into premature menopause). While I was there, I helped represent breast cancer patients as the Detroit Red Wings presented Karmanos with a check for the money they raised during their Breast Cancer Awareness Game. Former Detroit Red Wing, Chris Chelios was there representing the Wings, in addition to Nick Karmanos, Vice President of Karmanos Cancer Institute. Myself and two other young breast cancer survivors posed with Chris and Nick while holding a banner signed by the entire Red Wings team and hundreds of fans. We were photographed and interviewed by our local ABC and FOX affiliates. Unfortunately, I missed the clip of us on the news that night but some of my friends caught it. It was a fun thing to be a part of and neat to meet Chris Chelios. I have continued to battle fatigue since the surgery, so the rest of the week was spent laying pretty low. A few visits from friends was really nice and helped distract me from these walls that I feel are closing in on me. On Saturday night, I finally busted out of the house for the first time in 3 weeks for something other than a doctors appointment or support group meeting. Mike and I headed to the movies and it was so nice to just have a change of scenery for a few hours, and go on a date with my cute husband.
I am hoping to head back to Dr. M's office tomorrow morning to get another fill for my tissue expanders which will then hopefully slow down the drainage...keep your fingers crossed! I want to give a special thank you to Aunt Bridget for driving me to my appointments this week and for sitting outside with me after I realized I locked myself out of the house. :) Also, to my wonderful next door neighbor, Teri for cleaning up all of my flower beds in the backyard. She spent this afternoon pulling weeds, cutting back perennials, digging up my annuals, and sprucing everything up - it looks wonderful and I am so grateful since I can't get out there and do it myself this fall. I truly appreciate all of the well wishes, words of encouragement, and prayers I have received over the past couple of weeks. This has been one of the most difficult times I have had along this journey since my diagnosis. I am grateful to be feeling better but it's an extremely slow process and it's a huge reminder that as strong as I think I am, that can change in the blink of an eye. I hope to update you all soon with nothing but good news of healing and the removal of this last pesky drain! xoxo, Meghan
25 Comments
Don Hart
11/7/2011 12:23:19 am
Just a short note to let you know that Cindy and I are thinking of you constantly. You are definitely in our prayers and we can't wait until you are feeling like the real Meghan! Hang in there and take comfort in knowing that so many people care.
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Laura Martin
11/7/2011 01:43:53 am
Thinking about you all the time. So sorry you've had such a crappy time since the surgery. Much love to you!
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Mary Boyle
11/7/2011 03:15:01 am
Meeting Red Wings (former or current) always lifts my spirits, hope it did for you a little bit! Mindy Kaling's new book is hilarious if you are bored and need a laugh :) Continuing to keep you in my prayers!
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Deb and Bob Hart
11/7/2011 03:21:10 am
Meghan - glad you are feeling a bit better. We know it is super tough to slow down when it goes against your nature. We continually think of you and send best wishes for your recovery and next steps. Great picture of you and Chelios!
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Kiki
11/7/2011 04:07:28 am
Praying that you were able to get the last pesky drain out today. Thinking of you all the time, continue to be so proud of you and tell so many how awesome you are. Miss you, hope to see you tomorrow! xo
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Aunt Carol
11/7/2011 04:35:39 am
As always thinking about you and sending prayers your way...CONSTANTLY! Hope the doc visit was a good one today!
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Carolyn & Mark
11/7/2011 10:42:17 am
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Carolyn & Mark
11/7/2011 11:16:23 am
Meghan,
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Meagan
11/7/2011 11:23:54 am
Dearest Meghan,
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Linds Muttz
11/7/2011 03:24:04 pm
Megs you are a true inspiration. Stay the course. I am so glad you finally got to get out of the house, you deserve it. Hang in there and know that little Linz is cheering from a far.
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Joe L. and Julie N.
11/8/2011 02:30:15 am
We are praying that, starting now, you feel better - and the worst is behind you! Good days and more healing are ahead! Make that GREAT days!
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Marie Holmes
11/8/2011 03:38:37 am
So glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. Continue to rest and get stronger. My mom always said, "If you're tired you're healing. Your body is working hard and you have to help it out with lots of rest." I have BOXES of mystery novels. Do you need anything to read? Take care, M
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Madeline
11/8/2011 04:28:28 am
Hopefully the worst is behind you. Patience is not a virtue I possess either so I can relate to you on that one. Take it a day at a time and you'll be up and running around soon.
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Elizabeth
11/8/2011 05:23:58 am
Meg,
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Michael_T_Malley
11/8/2011 05:31:18 am
Keep your chin up Meghan. We all love you and are praying for you and Mike each and every day.
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Patty L
11/8/2011 11:44:05 am
What a drag getting the flu while trying so hard to recover from surgery. You are relentless in your courage and strength and remain such a ray of light to us all. We are thinking of you daily and praying for a full and speedy recovery. Hang in there babe-you look amazing. XO
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Chelki
11/9/2011 04:25:38 am
Although I am sorry you have been experiencing so much pain, frustration and fatigue since the surgery, I am so HAPPY to hear that you are finally feeling more like yourself. I've been thinking of you so much during the past 3 weeks, and it was wonderful to hear your voice and catch up last week. You're always in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you lots of strength and love during your recovery! :)
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Ree
11/9/2011 02:37:36 pm
baby girl..ohh how marvelous you look in the pic..sure pull off beautiful no matter how you feel..hey..look up this song.. the author .damien rice .name of the song is 'blowers daughter'..beautiful song..love song .. sounds weird,,but its mood song hope you like it..makes me feel warm and cozy . interpret how it means to you in your life with your wonder man in pink .. hope it does the same for you as it does for me.. xoxox luv you soooooo much ..feel the love sweet sweet beautiful one ..might not feel too lucky at the moment but..you ooooozzeee of good luck you are amazing babes. luv u aunt Lori
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Pam
11/10/2011 12:14:41 pm
Meghan,
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Marty and Keely
11/13/2011 12:58:04 pm
Meghan....I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. I am sorry for not getting to your blog in the last couple of weeks but just know that we think about you often. You guys are always in our thoughts. A great website to check out everyday is a site called The Brave Girls Club. It has daily truths that are inspiring and just make you feel good. Check it out...we are always thinking about you and Mike.
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Heather W.
11/14/2011 11:11:17 am
Meghan-
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Ree
11/14/2011 12:44:08 pm
Thinking of you..happy fall ..and happy you are tube free. hope you got a glimps of the sunset tonite it was sooo pwetty xoxox
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Kara
11/15/2011 06:28:29 am
Girly! So glad you are feeling better and stoked that you got to go on a date! :) I just want to thank you so much for all of your encouragement through MY life. You are the one person I can count on to always know what's going on in my life, even when I don't, lol. You are there for me even when YOU are having a difficult time and that means so much! True friendships last through good times and through bad, and you have truly stuck to this. Hope to see you soon, I really miss yoU! Maybe I will pop by randomly again and and bring goodies :).
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Becky
11/15/2011 08:32:34 am
Hey, Meghan. We are still always thinking about you at TRP. We miss having you around, even if I only got to see you every few months. Hang in there. You are in my prayers daily. And yes you have patience, you are a neuro PT!
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Michelle V.
11/28/2011 10:16:43 am
You ARE amazing. I read your updates so I know how to pray and I always walk away inspired. Do you know what a gift you are to so many people?
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