It was the most surreal experience yet. Unintentionally, I peeked out through my peripheral vision where I saw nothing but flesh tone color - no red, no curls, no volume...no nothing. From the corner of my eye, I could only see shape, texture, color, form - and it all appeared so foreign. I felt an odd clash between utter curiosity and a paralyzing fear, knowing that when I turned around to look into the mirror, it would be real. It would make it all real. It would be real that I no longer have hair - real that I have been undergoing chemotherapy = real that my body is fighting - real that I am battling cancer. I watched their faces as Mike, my mom, and Kyle all witnessed each piece of hair fall to the floor. I held my mom's hand as the electric razor sent chills down my neck. I listened as they all commented on the newly discovered shape of my head. I stared into my loving husband's eyes as he watched his wife undergo such a drastic transformation...and he didn't care one bit. My amazing husband looked at me just like he did on our wedding day - with more love and affection than I ever thought possible. From that moment on, everything was okay. Truth be told, I now feel a huge sense of relief. I am glad to have this next step behind me. I wasn't scared or nervous leading up to this day - I was just eager to get on with it. I am grateful for my incredible support system that spent the day with me today, and of course for Susan and her amazing team at Susan's Special Needs. I cannot thank them enough for making what could have been a very traumatic experience, a much more comfortable and peaceful one. The work they do is truly life changing and will leave a huge impact on my heart for the rest of my life. Below are some of the images Kyle captured from the day...don't be frightened by my half shaved, half punk rocker hair in the second pic ;) The initial wig fitting... Loving the new wig...it looks just like my hair does when I straighten it! Kyle - Thank you for being the most supportive, caring, and loyal friend anyone could ever dream of! You are a true blessing to me and I am so thankful to have you in my life. Thank you for documenting this day for me. Love you so much! Isn't my mom beautiful!!!! My everything ♥ So be prepared to see a new look from me this summer. Whether it's sporting my new bangs, a fun printed scarf, or a stylish straw hat...I am ready for it all. I am super excited to avoid summer frizz, hair gel, and blow dryers for awhile. Now on to bigger and better things....one of my very best friends, Brinley, and her awesome hubby and baby boy are coming to visit this weekend from West Palm Beach, Florida. I am beyond thrilled to see them and to finally meet sweet baby Andrew!!! This weekend will be filled with smiles, laughs, and lots of cuddle time and I couldn't be more excited for it. :) Thanks again for all of the love and support everyone! You continue to bring us smiles and joy, even during the hardest times. xoxo, Meghan
49 Comments
Mom
5/10/2011 02:17:26 pm
Mushee',
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nanc
5/10/2011 02:31:45 pm
Meghan, Just got home from what I thought was a difficult day at work,and read your blog. You are an inspiration to sooo many. You look beautiful and there is a reason your husband loves you so much. Thank you for sharing this day with all of us. xoxoxo nanc
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Aunt Carol
5/10/2011 02:39:12 pm
Hello to the best & "bravest" Musketeers I can think of!
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melissa borg
5/10/2011 02:41:15 pm
Meg!
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5/10/2011 02:42:47 pm
Your positivity is infectious! You have a beautiful new look! Go girl!
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Ree
5/10/2011 02:50:14 pm
As I Look at your day thru your eyes. I feel like I am soaking up all the love ..its pouring out of every picture and every word you spoke. you are so Beautiful..and so Very Brave.. Love you sooo much..The pictures are absolutely.... make you freeze in time, feel like we were with you..you truly are a gift to everyone that loves you,..or just met you...
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Ree
5/10/2011 02:52:49 pm
One more thang...your head is sooo perfect..and your beautiful little ears ..good grief lady..how DID you get so perfect..musta been yo mama's blood..xoxox
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Doug
5/10/2011 02:56:33 pm
Meghan, you are so beautiful. I can't believe how lucky I am to be a part of your family. You and Mike are such a joy to me and I am truly a blessed man to be a part of your life. I can't believe the effect you are having on a lot of people's lives, and someone said earlier that it is such a shame that you have to have this burden. But that you can handle it well and you have shown us what is really important in our lives. Well, I know that you have made me a better person, and to shrug off the things that don't really matter and to be more concerned with what does matter. Even though I've been around for awhile (63 years), you have taught me this again or at least reinforced that idea to me. I love you and am so proud of you for your attitude, strength, and caring for everyone else but yourself. You are truly a wonderful person. I love you.
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Carolyn & Mark Hallgath
5/10/2011 03:08:42 pm
Dear Meghan,
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Becca Peters
5/10/2011 03:18:33 pm
Meg,
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Becca J
5/10/2011 03:20:51 pm
Meghan
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Beth W.
5/10/2011 03:41:17 pm
Megs,
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Andrea
5/10/2011 05:09:15 pm
Meghan!
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Brinley
5/10/2011 05:21:17 pm
My Sheppard Pie!!
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Dana
5/10/2011 08:36:41 pm
oh how I love this post! You look awesome with curly hair, no hair, punk rock hair and straight hair. The pic of mike kissing your head made me cry...get a room you gross lovebirds!
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Kara
5/11/2011 12:10:01 am
Meg,
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Gina V.
5/11/2011 12:32:34 am
Loving your look~ You are so brave and beautiful! What an inspiration to us all Meghan!:)
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Heather W.
5/11/2011 02:28:09 am
WOW! You are just as beautiful with the punk look as with curls!!! (As if there would be any doubt!) I say we should work that angle and hit "LUNA" on Main on techno night!!:) I can brush the dust off my Doc Marten's and find my goth silver jewelry...
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Barbara
5/11/2011 03:06:37 am
I can not tell you how much I appreciate you letting us all be a part of this journey of yours. I check it every day, and am SO HAPPY to see YOU SMILING in your pictures.
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Amanda
5/11/2011 03:30:50 am
Wow, Megs, you make one hot bald chick! Giving Demi a run for her money for sure. The wig looks wonderful! So glad that you'll have options depending on how you feel.
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Liz
5/11/2011 03:39:49 am
Okay, I LOVE the wig, the bangs, the color, everything...but mostly I'm blown away by how beautiful you look without hair! The pictures with your mom and Mike are amazing. Can't wait to see how you rock the wig, scarves and hats this summer!
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Chelsea
5/11/2011 03:42:29 am
As we have all said a million times, your attitude, positivity and eagerness to kick the Big C's booty continues to inspire!! Kyle's pictures beautifully capture all that, as well as your bravery and stunning new 'do!! You're beautiful with and without hair, and I can't wait to see you rocking all your new "looks" in the coming months.
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Sara
5/11/2011 04:25:23 am
These pictures are stunning in every way, Meghan ~ just like you! You're such a stunner with and without the wig...I'm just loving it! I can't wait to see all of your different looks in the months to come!
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Barb A
5/11/2011 06:05:45 am
Meghan Honey,
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Future_Mom-in-law-Diane
5/11/2011 07:42:41 am
Wow - you look amazing - no hair or that wonderful wig...you can carry it with class.
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Meghan - you are absolutely amazing - every single post seizes to amaze me each and every time. Like kara said you are NOT battling cancer you are KICKING IT'S ASS. you are gorgeous inside and out, with and without your beautiful red locks. and the wig looks stunning ! You, Mike, and Jan are all very strong and inspire me daily.
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Diane P.
5/11/2011 10:42:40 am
Wow Meg...absolutely incredible ... congratulations for taking away cancer's power to take away your beautiful hair (you know I always hated you for that hair!) and doing it on your own terms! I find it so brave of you to share every single intimate step of the journey with all of us. You look beautiful without your hair and with that wig (wow it really does look just like you wear your hair when it's straight) and the look of love on Mike's face is absolutely priceless!
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Tracy A
5/11/2011 10:51:40 am
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. The pictures were absolutely amazing! YEAH Kyle! And, your words - made me feel so many emotions all at the same time; it was truly moving. I honestly couldn't wait to get to the next line. Dang girl, you could be a writer! We'll just have to add "writer" to your list of many, many, many talents. Just as we all expected, your bald look is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Enjoy your weekend and keep up the fight! Hugs, Tracy
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Aunt Erin
5/11/2011 11:01:17 am
Megs,
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Diana M
5/11/2011 11:07:25 am
It's really true...Bald is Beautiful!!! At least on you, Meghan...you're beautiful no matter what (bcuz you're beautiful on the inside) and your new 'do is perfect.
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Chanell
5/11/2011 11:43:22 am
OMG! All that beautiful hair gone! But honey bunches of oats, you can really pull off a bald look. I love the wig. It looks so real. You still look fierce in my eyes. Love you much!
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Melanie
5/11/2011 12:28:54 pm
You look BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And can I say that I am totally jealous that you don't have to use a blow dryer....what will you do with all that time?!
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Michael_TMalley
5/11/2011 01:01:28 pm
Meghan,
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Mary Somers
5/11/2011 01:20:10 pm
LOVE ! LOVE ! LOVE ! God Bless you and Mike ! Aunt Mary and Bill
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Elizabeth
5/11/2011 02:41:47 pm
Meghan,
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Marty and Keely
5/11/2011 03:01:31 pm
One word......GORGEOUS. The pictures are incredible. You are all incredible! Have a great weekend. Enjoy your company....You inspire many!
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Ree
5/11/2011 03:32:02 pm
Thinking of you..its closer to the weekend..yea..
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lauramartin
5/11/2011 04:03:36 pm
Beautiful, simply beautiful
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Deb & Bob
5/12/2011 04:40:10 am
You look absolutely beautiful. Also, remember bald is beautiful! Thank you again for sharing your story - you are an inspiration to us all.
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Erica
5/12/2011 07:17:51 am
Ohhh your pics are soo beautiful!! You look so strong and brave! I want to kiss your head! Keep hanging in there. I am really starting to learn that all you can do is take things day by day. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us-as always you are inspiring all of us! Sending all my love and prayers to you and Mike!
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Aunt Carol
5/12/2011 07:38:46 am
In case I haven't told you lately (OK not yet today!) ..... I Love You! As always thinking about you and praying too!!
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Linda L
5/12/2011 08:29:07 am
You truly are the most beautiful, Meghan. You inspire me and I am in awe of you. Much Love to you and your equally beautiful mother.
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Meagan
5/12/2011 08:53:23 am
Looks great Meg! I knew it would! Your beautiful eyes and smile are shining through more than ever... God has blessed you with so much courage and graciousness. How fortunate we all are to know you and witness your strength in this difficult time.
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Danielle
5/12/2011 03:08:00 pm
Meghan,
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Julie Payne
5/12/2011 03:32:13 pm
Meg,
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Lindsay
5/13/2011 08:13:37 am
Meghan,
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Amanda K
5/13/2011 10:47:03 am
Oh Meghan, I can't help but cry when I read this. The picture of Mike kissing your head is the most precious site. You are truly so lucky to have such great love around you! Your new hair looks great. I hope you have a blast with Brinley. Keep up your wonderful attitude. I will so be at cold stone making Kara sing silly songs!
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Don & Cindy Hart
5/14/2011 11:53:39 am
Meghan, you look beautiful. Lots of love and prayers! Don & Cindy
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10/26/2013 11:37:51 pm
This post is very touching.I got emotional reading this. so much love,care,dare are showing.pictures got me more indulged into this. hats off.. it is very difficult going through this with a big smile.
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