Dear Santa,
I hear you will be coming to town tonight...and maybe even stopping by on my rooftop. I have long understood that your anticipated visit is contingent upon my behavior this year. What's that you ask?....Was I good this year? Did I behave? Have I listened to my mother, done my chores, ate my veggies? Well, I can assure you that I have most definitely done the latter...I have surely ate well over my weight in kale, cucumbers, and spinach this year. Santa, I promise that I have listened to my momma (most of the time) and to my doctors (all of the time). I have taken my medications, cared for my radiated burned skin, and emptied my surgical drains. I have allowed my body to rest, but I've also pushed it at times when I wanted to feel like my old self again. This year I have tried to make a difference. I have volunteered my time. I have shared my story. I have spoke to thousands. I have attended conferences and meetings. I have tried to be a source of support for those newly diagnosed. I have returned to work, albeit on a (very) part time basis. I have started a small business that fuels my creative side. I have invested time, money, and energy into activities that feed my soul. I have traveled, visited friends, and tried to spend as much time as possible with those I love the most. But Santa, I have to come clean and tell you that I have not been perfect. I must admit, I have fallen off the wagon with my exercise routine. That has really been bothering me and will definitely be a priority for 2013. I have been unsuccessful at giving up my beloved Diet Coke and I'm fearful I may now be considered an "addict". And while we are on the subject of confessions, I will acknowledge to you that I am still a terribly inconsistent flosser. I have also been hard on myself this year, Santa. I have dealt with a lot of guilt, frustrations, and sadness. I have often felt lost while I try to understand how to live a life where I am not the PT that works the most hours and sees the most patients - where I am not a mother, nor will I be a "mother to be" -- I am a 30 year old woman that often feels worried sick about her husband and mother, should anything ever happen to me. I am a constant work in progress - learning how to ride these waves until the storm passes, and hoping for many days of sunshine until the next set of dark clouds start to roll in. Santa, although I am guilty of occasionally losing my patience, taking my husband for granted, or being sassy with my mom - I promise that I have tried my best to make it on your "good list" this year. I have tried to be positive and optimistic, open-minded and understanding, hopeful and grateful - each and every day. I have tried to be a good wife, daughter, sister and friend. I have tried to live each day to the fullest, to restrain myself from useless complaints, and to appreciate all of the blessings in my life and in doing so, take the focus away from the many hardships our family continues to face. So, if I may ask for just one thing this year, Santa...I am please asking (or more like begging) for a good report from my scans on January 3. I would please LOVE clean scans that show no new growth of this disease, so that I may continue to enjoy this beautiful life. That I may continue to live each day with the same quality of life that I experience now. That I can continue to strive to reach my dreams with Mike. So I can watch my friends children grow up, and so I can be here to take care of my parents one day instead of them taking care of me - that's just not the way it's supposed to work. Tomorrow morning I will wake up next to my best friend, and feel the weight of my pup at my feet, and I will smile like I do each morning. A smile of thanks for another day. As I make my way to the family room, I won't expect anything from you under the tree. I will hold out hope that the one and only gift I truly pray for will arrive next week in the form of a good report from my oncologist, Dr. F. Thank you for listening, Santa. Merry Christmas to you and to all of those that I love. xoxo, Meghan
16 Comments
Sally
12/24/2012 01:19:17 pm
Merry Christmas Meghan and Mike! I CANNOT imagine a better Santa's helper than you. You deserve to get EVERYTHING on your list and as a matter of fact I am putting your request on my list too. May you and your family have a wonderful holiday and please know that I am praying tons for wonderful scan reports and I just KNOW that is exactly what they will be!! Enjoy the holiday season and we will all stay very positive. I know that your New Year will start out great!!!
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Elizabeth
12/25/2012 03:02:58 pm
Meg,
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Patty L
12/26/2012 10:48:11 am
I toast you with a Diet Coke in my hands in honor of all you have done this year and your continued ongoing strength! I admire you so. I pray for one thing: "CLEAR SCANS!" You are so deserving of a big break. Hope to see you soon. Love to you both. Santa makes dreams come true and I'm sure he heard this beautiful entry. XOXO
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Deb & Bob Hart
12/26/2012 02:07:27 pm
Merry Christmas Megan and Mike - this is an awesome message - very funny, very real and hopeful. We all have vices and you wouldnt be human if you didnt as well. May Santa bring your wishes after the 1st for a clear scan.
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Diane P.
12/27/2012 12:48:58 am
Merry Christmas Meg...
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Brandi
12/27/2012 03:30:42 am
As one of the newly diagnosed who you have helped and inspired in so many ways, I can absolutely say you deserve your Christmas wish! You have been in my thoughts and prayers every night for CLEAN scans! Thank you again for just being you! Here is to a fabulous 2013!
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Linda V.C.
12/27/2012 09:53:14 am
If I was Santa I would bring you perfect scan results, more camera equipment and software, a trip to Hawaii and a bag of kale chips! Happy Holidays my fellow CSL friend :-)
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Nanc
12/27/2012 10:31:49 am
Meg you deserve everything you ask for and more. Thank you for what you have done for Julie during her difficult time. That's another thing you should add to your "good" xoxo
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Carolyn & Mark
12/27/2012 11:10:28 am
Meghan,
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Erin
12/29/2012 01:43:59 pm
Megs,
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Gina V.
12/31/2012 11:55:13 am
Meg, I am wishing for Santa and GOD to answer all your wishes for CLEAN SCANS! Praying for you ~ XOXO
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Mary Jane Hsu
1/2/2013 03:03:24 am
Here to wish you a Happy, Healthy, Loving, Peaceful, Fun filled, New Year Meghan!! Thanks for another beautiful post. My prayers for you today are not only for your clear scans, but also to help you get through today's anticipation, tomorrow's ordeal of actually getting the scans, and then the waiting game till you get those results.
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Emily
1/2/2013 08:42:33 am
Hi Megan,
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Julie Payne
1/2/2013 01:16:58 pm
I'm praying to Santa and God and anyone else that will listen that tomorrow is a good day! Love you Shep! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Marie Holmes
1/3/2013 03:58:54 am
Praying HARD for you Meghan!
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Henry Walker
1/9/2013 03:45:54 am
I am so glad that Santa brought you just what you deserved, Aunt Meghan! He's the best...and so are you! Xoxo
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